How to Show, Not Tell: 5 Scene Writing Tips for Memoir Writers

memoirs writing tips Jan 13, 2025
girl pouring milk while older woman whisks it into bowl

Writing a memoir is about more than recounting memories; it’s about bringing readers into your world and letting them experience your pivotal moments firsthand. Many memoir writers struggle with “showing” rather than “telling” their most powerful memories. This requires a careful balance of authenticity and vulnerability to make scenes feel vivid and alive. Here are five foundational techniques for painting visual word pictures that will transform your writing. 

1. Anchor the Scene with Sensory Details

One of the quickest ways to ground readers in a moment is through sensory details. Instead of narrating what happened, focus on what you saw, heard, or smelled. Describe the crunch of gravel under your shoes, the scent of your grandmother’s perfume, or the sound of laughter echoing in the hall. These details help readers feel present and connected to your memories.

2. Set Up a Specific Context for Each Scene

Before diving into a memory, briefly set up the scene’s context. This can mean including details like the location, your age, or the background of the moment. But instead of just telling your reader what year it is and where the scene takes place, try showing them details that paint a picture of time and place through your eyes at the time the scene occurred.

For example, if you’re setting up a scene that happened in your kitchen in 1969 when you were six, don’t just tell the reader the year. Describe your kitchen—what color were the countertops and appliances? What would have been a meal you’d smell cooking—how would you describe the way it smelled to you at six? By stepping into the shoes of your child-self, you’re showing the reader the context for the scene instead of just telling them the time and place.

3. Show Emotions Through Actions and Dialogue

Rather than telling readers how you felt, convey emotions through body language, actions, and dialogue. If you were nervous, describe the clamminess of your hands or your quickened breath. Dialogue can reveal tension or intimacy, allowing readers to grasp unspoken emotions. This approach brings authenticity to your writing, inviting readers to interpret and feel the weight of each moment.

4. Highlight Transformation and Realization

Many memoir scenes represent moments of change or realization. To capture this, focus on the emotional shift. Show how a moment began and how it left you feeling or thinking differently. Highlighting these transformations creates a narrative arc within your scene, which makes it more compelling and meaningful for readers.

5. Use Silence and Small Details to Build Depth

Silence and subtle actions can speak volumes in a memoir. Sometimes, it’s what isn’t said that resonates most deeply. Pauses in dialogue, glances, or a lingering touch can convey complex emotions that words alone cannot. Use these moments to hint at underlying emotions or tensions, adding layers to your story.

Writing Your Memoir Scene-by-Scene

Just like Anne Lamott talks about writing a book “bird by bird,” memoir writers tell their story scene by scene. Mastering the art of showing, not telling is the key to bringing your memoir to life. As you transform personal experiences into powerful scenes, you invite readers into your world. So, take these tips, sit down with one of your memories, and start crafting a scene. Each detail, gesture, and pause brings you one step closer to writing a memoir that truly resonates.

 

Want to learn more tips to become a better writer? Join my free Write Your Own Life creative community for memoir and nonfiction writers.

 

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