When you sit down to write your memoir, you’re not just telling a story—you’re inviting readers into your life. How you frame that invitation matters, and two critical choices will shape how your story is experienced: verb tense and point of view (POV). These decisions may seem small, but they profoundly affect the tone, intimacy, and emotional impact of your writing.

Let’s break it down into simple, actionable steps so you can choose the best approach for your memoir.

Understanding Verb Tense

Tense answers the question: When does the story happen? The two most common tenses in memoir writing are past tense and present tense, each bringing a unique flavor to your story.

Past Tense

• Example: “I walked into the kitchen that morning, the scent of freshly brewed coffee filling the air.”
• Why Use It? Past tense is the most common choice for memoirs because it feels natural and reflective. It’s like sitting down with someone and recounting the events of your life.
• Pros:
• Familiar and comfortable for readers.
• Allows for reflection and commentary on past events.
• Cons:
• Can feel less immediate or immersive.

Present Tense

• Example: “I walk into the kitchen this morning, the scent of freshly brewed coffee filling the air.”
• Why Use It? Present tense creates a sense of immediacy, as if the story is unfolding right before the reader’s eyes.
• Pros:
• Engaging and immersive.
• Helps readers feel like they’re in the moment with you.
• Cons:
• Limits reflection and commentary.
• Can be challenging to sustain over an entire manuscript.

Choosing the Right Tense

To decide, think about the tone and purpose of your memoir:

• Do you want a reflective, “here’s what I learned” tone? Choose past tense.
• Do you want readers to feel like they’re living your experiences alongside you? Go with present tense.

You can also mix tenses carefully. For example, use past tense for your main narrative and shift to present tense for vivid flashbacks or particularly emotional moments.

Understanding Point of View (POV)

Point of view determines who is telling the story. In memoirs, this choice shapes the intimacy and perspective of your narrative.

First-Person

• Example: “I couldn’t believe what had happened.”
• Why Use It? First-person is the standard for memoirs because it’s deeply personal. It’s your story, told in your voice.
• Pros:
• Creates a strong emotional connection with readers.
• Gives readers direct access to your thoughts and feelings.
• Cons:
• Limits the perspective to only what you know or experience.

Second-Person

• Example: “You walk into the room, and everything changes.”
• Why Use It? Second-person addresses the reader directly, making them feel as if they’re part of the story. It’s less common in memoirs but can be effective for reflection or universal moments.
• Pros:
• Creates intimacy and engagement.
• Invites readers to see themselves in your story.
• Cons:
• Can feel unnatural or overused if not handled carefully.

Third-Person

• Example: “She couldn’t believe what had happened.”
• Why Use It? Third-person offers distance and objectivity. While uncommon in memoirs, it can be useful for narrating parts of your story with emotional detachment.
• Pros:
• Provides a broader perspective.
• Useful for writing about traumatic events with some emotional distance.
• Cons:
• Reduces intimacy and personal connection.

Choosing the Right POV

Most memoirs use first-person because it’s personal and reflective. However, don’t be afraid to experiment. For example:

• Use second-person for universal truths or reflective moments.
• Use third-person to recount events you’d rather narrate from a distance.

How Tense and POV Work Together

The combination of tense and POV shapes your narrative tone. Here are a few popular pairings:

• First-Person + Past Tense: Reflective and personal. Great for analyzing and learning from your experiences.
• First-Person + Present Tense: Immersive and immediate. Perfect for dramatic or action-packed scenes.
• Second-Person + Present Tense: Engaging and directive. Ideal for making readers feel part of the story.

Experimenting with Tense and POV

To find the right combination for your memoir, try this exercise:

1. Write a short scene from your life in first-person, past tense.
2. Rewrite the same scene in first-person, present tense.
3. Experiment with second-person or third-person.
4. Compare: Which version feels most natural? Which creates the emotional tone you want?

Here’s an example to guide you:

First-Person, Past Tense: “I walked into the kitchen that morning, the scent of freshly brewed coffee filling the air.”

First-Person, Present Tense: “I walk into the kitchen this morning, the scent of freshly brewed coffee filling the air.”

Second-Person: “You walk into the kitchen that morning, the scent of freshly brewed coffee filling the air.”

Third-Person: “She walked into the kitchen that morning, the scent of freshly brewed coffee filling the air.”

Each version creates a different tone and emotional experience for the reader. Which one feels right for your story?

Key Takeaways

• Tense sets when your story happens. Choose past tense for reflection or present tense for immediacy.
• POV determines who tells your story. First-person is personal, second-person is engaging, and third-person provides distance.
• Experiment with both to find the combination that best serves your memoir.
• Stay consistent to avoid confusing your readers.

Your story deserves to be told in a way that captivates and connects with readers. By choosing the right tense and POV, you can bring your experiences to life and leave a lasting impact. So, grab your pen or keyboard, and start experimenting today!